....I was witness this afternoon to the worlds oldest profession being conducted in a local grocery store parking lot today, and it tugged on my heart with power and might . I don't mean prostitution ,which is what most of us think of when that phrase is used , but rather I saw a family begging . Wikipedia states that" begging has existed since before recorded human history", and certainly the Bible makes reference to it many times . Christ on more than one occasion encounters beggars and highlights them in his interaction amd teaching .
Today ...here they were in the center of "the bubble" as our children call it ...a woman ..a little boy..a man with a small hand written sign that says in black marker that he is out of work amd needs money for rent. The words at the end of the sign say "God bless" .
Meek,humble ,suffering...is what the name "beggar " connotes ...and those sensations struck like lightening from my eyes to my heart as I first drive by . And that's what I did..I drove by ...knowing I had some cash right beside me...and the voice of what I think most of us commonly call "reason" began its soliloquy . Are they authentic ? Is this actually a ploy to get drug money? There are programs to help these people...what is their REAL agenda? Is this even their child? Are they really even a family? I consider myself an idealist ..and some have called me gullible , but I do have a suspicious voice which resonates inside my head more often than I might care to admit ...and that part of my nature would not be stilled . I started to circle to leave the parking lot to exit ...but the hearts stings affixed to the sight tethered me back to where they stood . I knew my doubt and judgement of these people would haunt me all day if I simply drove home .
I returned to where they stood , parked my car ...quickly got out and introduced myself to them. I asked some details of their plight and their names so I could pray for them..I handed them a modest amount of legal tender ...asked what sort of work the man did. He stated he was an auto mechanic . He had lost his job lat month, rent for this month was past due . We exchanged no further details but I could sense his anger and frustration and victimization. Very heartwarming to see other citizens of the realm walk by them and hand them cash...cans of food... A drink box of juice for the little boy. We here in irvine are great at our projects and causes ...but this was the real deal ...People emerging from their infamous irvine emotional sequestering from poverty and dispair and responding in anonymity to a cry of need . I think in some ways this was the biggest blessing of all to the whole matter .
There is nothing especially good or noble about me in this experience today, and willing as I am to see and learn lessons even in writing this I feel I am more than a bit of a narcissist . the noble ones are these three beggars ...no matter the what Or why of what brought them to it today ..and might again tomorrow. Their true reasons are none of my concern . They have the servants heart ...not I . This sounds obsequious I know ..but I could not mean this more ...I had bright vibrant visions today of the less lofty parts of myself ...I say this humbled and with gratitude...
I returned to my car instantly grateful for the opportunity of a teaching moment lavished upon me. Grateful I overcame the voice of reason..for it was due to a benevolent Patient Holy Lord ...so greater than myself .that the following has flooded my awareness in the short drive home and since ....I have been to this place of desperate and nearly ready to beg for money for my family. one day about 20 years ago and even recently ..I considered standing at the 405 amd Jamboree exit ready to hand out Stephen's resume or hold my own sign imploring help with rent . and knew the unique agony and the fear of not being able to provide all I wished to for my children...even right here in 25 years of living in idyllic irvine with all the best of every opportunity having been lavished at my feet and regretfully and now, repentively, much of it squandered ..., I've had my own hidden agendas in life and love and other bonds ...I've lived through job loss ...that was due to my own errors amd deficits in character ...I've conjured surruptitious plots to advance my cause of one form or another .ive begged God and humans alike to fix things for me ...audibly or in silence .. for what I feel I want and need
feeling a great big helping on my plate held out of "woe is me" ..and yet .....no matter .....God ..The God Who Saves... has provided me with so much grace and miraculous tangible provision I am
presently living in awe of these things every hour of every day. ...and in the days to come...I need to
Reach out of myself ...no further indulgent self assessment dialectic needed ...I just need to reach out ...and allow God to use me to help more and freely.... in prayer word and deed.
