....I was witness this afternoon to the worlds oldest profession being conducted in a local grocery store parking lot today, and it tugged on my heart with power and might . I don't mean prostitution ,which is what most of us think of when that phrase is used , but rather I saw a family begging . Wikipedia states that" begging has existed since before recorded human history", and certainly the Bible makes reference to it many times . Christ on more than one occasion encounters beggars and highlights them in his interaction amd teaching .
Today ...here they were in the center of "the bubble" as our children call it ...a woman ..a little boy..a man with a small hand written sign that says in black marker that he is out of work amd needs money for rent. The words at the end of the sign say "God bless" .
Meek,humble ,suffering...is what the name "beggar " connotes ...and those sensations struck like lightening from my eyes to my heart as I first drive by . And that's what I did..I drove by ...knowing I had some cash right beside me...and the voice of what I think most of us commonly call "reason" began its soliloquy . Are they authentic ? Is this actually a ploy to get drug money? There are programs to help these people...what is their REAL agenda? Is this even their child? Are they really even a family? I consider myself an idealist ..and some have called me gullible , but I do have a suspicious voice which resonates inside my head more often than I might care to admit ...and that part of my nature would not be stilled . I started to circle to leave the parking lot to exit ...but the hearts stings affixed to the sight tethered me back to where they stood . I knew my doubt and judgement of these people would haunt me all day if I simply drove home .
I returned to where they stood , parked my car ...quickly got out and introduced myself to them. I asked some details of their plight and their names so I could pray for them..I handed them a modest amount of legal tender ...asked what sort of work the man did. He stated he was an auto mechanic . He had lost his job lat month, rent for this month was past due . We exchanged no further details but I could sense his anger and frustration and victimization. Very heartwarming to see other citizens of the realm walk by them and hand them cash...cans of food... A drink box of juice for the little boy. We here in irvine are great at our projects and causes ...but this was the real deal ...People emerging from their infamous irvine emotional sequestering from poverty and dispair and responding in anonymity to a cry of need . I think in some ways this was the biggest blessing of all to the whole matter .
There is nothing especially good or noble about me in this experience today, and willing as I am to see and learn lessons even in writing this I feel I am more than a bit of a narcissist . the noble ones are these three beggars ...no matter the what Or why of what brought them to it today ..and might again tomorrow. Their true reasons are none of my concern . They have the servants heart ...not I . This sounds obsequious I know ..but I could not mean this more ...I had bright vibrant visions today of the less lofty parts of myself ...I say this humbled and with gratitude...
I returned to my car instantly grateful for the opportunity of a teaching moment lavished upon me. Grateful I overcame the voice of reason..for it was due to a benevolent Patient Holy Lord ...so greater than myself .that the following has flooded my awareness in the short drive home and since ....I have been to this place of desperate and nearly ready to beg for money for my family. one day about 20 years ago and even recently ..I considered standing at the 405 amd Jamboree exit ready to hand out Stephen's resume or hold my own sign imploring help with rent . and knew the unique agony and the fear of not being able to provide all I wished to for my children...even right here in 25 years of living in idyllic irvine with all the best of every opportunity having been lavished at my feet and regretfully and now, repentively, much of it squandered ..., I've had my own hidden agendas in life and love and other bonds ...I've lived through job loss ...that was due to my own errors amd deficits in character ...I've conjured surruptitious plots to advance my cause of one form or another .ive begged God and humans alike to fix things for me ...audibly or in silence .. for what I feel I want and need
feeling a great big helping on my plate held out of "woe is me" ..and yet .....no matter .....God ..The God Who Saves... has provided me with so much grace and miraculous tangible provision I am
presently living in awe of these things every hour of every day. ...and in the days to come...I need to
Reach out of myself ...no further indulgent self assessment dialectic needed ...I just need to reach out ...and allow God to use me to help more and freely.... in prayer word and deed.
Friday, July 11, 2014
Friday, February 14, 2014
olympic tarnished gold
i most usually use this blog space for introspection/self evaluation/...confession and emotional overspill...but the last few days a rant of sorts has been burgeoning in my brain...and i decided to set it free by airing it in this place~
the thoughts i am about to express are likely NOT....going to be popular, and i am fairly certain would likely invoke the indignation of many...but i am indifferent to opinion here, as i plunge head first into the iconoclastic sea....
i find the present winter olympic games taking place in Sohci, frivolous and banal, and i am starting to think olympic games as they are presently crafted, should be discontinued entirely.
there is no point in dwelling too deeply within the inherent security risks. they do seem to be more candidly discussed and revealed in these olympics, but the olympic games presenting as a target for violent political statements and aggressive terrorist agendas, has been a clear a present danger for decades. i would have been completely supportive for the olympics being called off this year in general, and as the stage was being set weeks ago, the fear of some completely atrocious act of violence violating the olympic games this year was enough of a reason in my mind, for calling for an end to the games altogether.
as things have proceeded, and the events and days of the games marched by, i have had my primary concerns about feeling the games simply were not worth the risk, grown even more large due to other issues not having anything to do with terrorism whatsoever.
it is more really...that the games , to my view, have become diminished as classically competitive or demonstrative of excellence between countries and individuals, and have more become about personal ego. replacing the ancient spirit of testing the limits of human endurance and disciplines, many events are now abundantly comprised of perfectly ridiculous events that serve no greater purpose than to demonstrate how willing an individual is to be a dare-devil than truly an athletic competitor. many of the "athletes" who have won medals in these events appear to be purely in it for themselves, not their country. they seem like adolescents at often dangerous play, even though many of them are in late 20's and 30's. when they win ,they resemble spoiled children who just pushed someone out onto the floor and been declared the winner in a perverse game of musical chairs, more than a competitor who has persevered and triumphed within a respectable discipline. moreover,. hundreds of thousands of dollars...giving way to hundreds of million dollars spent, (or squandered by my view) are spent by the host country, the teams of each country, and by individuals themselves. and to what end? and to what example to future generations?
the money spent on opening and closing ceremonies alone, could probably end world hunger for at least a few months time if not longer as the the propaganda of the country take the world stage. the construction of the competitive fields, equipment, clothing, transportation cost, "training" etc could also so be utilized in a more useful and altruistic as well as practical manner to benefit the citizens of this planet.. events such as free style skiing, snow boarding events that are essentially something that looks like a skate board park made of ice, and the infamous skeleton, are unnecessarily dangerous, and do not demonstrate much more than to what level of recklessness some individuals are prone and willing to devote their lives and significant resources . i do not blame these individuals for their attitude and sense of entitlement to such indulgence. they are only responding to what the crowd will "pay"....if someone would pay me to cultivate my penchants and avoid the mantel of common day responsibilities and travails...i likely would do it too.and i do not doubt that many of them do feel a pride and loyalty to our country, or whatever country from which they hail...but they are not expressing it with any moving or uplifting form of social conscience,or awareness, nor care for any larger humanitarian view other than personal pride.
true, there are all sort of activities and frivolities that take place every hour of ever day. we purchase things, surround ourselves with comforts
that could, and often should, go to toward a greater good. however these things to not take place on the world stage, for so many days in succession, and at such an "international" level, at at such acclaim.
i could go on...and on about this..and i shall not. i think i have adequately expunged my primary contention with the modern day olympic games. and i know my words espoused here will not create any change or promote any particular enlightenment...and i long ago accepted my impotence in bringing any meaningful change to the planet at large. it has been sad for me on a personal level , though, to feel about the olympic games this year very much as the way i view the wars in which we find our country engaged....supportive of the troops, but not supportive of the reason nor the manner....in which they "fight"~
the thoughts i am about to express are likely NOT....going to be popular, and i am fairly certain would likely invoke the indignation of many...but i am indifferent to opinion here, as i plunge head first into the iconoclastic sea....
i find the present winter olympic games taking place in Sohci, frivolous and banal, and i am starting to think olympic games as they are presently crafted, should be discontinued entirely.
there is no point in dwelling too deeply within the inherent security risks. they do seem to be more candidly discussed and revealed in these olympics, but the olympic games presenting as a target for violent political statements and aggressive terrorist agendas, has been a clear a present danger for decades. i would have been completely supportive for the olympics being called off this year in general, and as the stage was being set weeks ago, the fear of some completely atrocious act of violence violating the olympic games this year was enough of a reason in my mind, for calling for an end to the games altogether.
as things have proceeded, and the events and days of the games marched by, i have had my primary concerns about feeling the games simply were not worth the risk, grown even more large due to other issues not having anything to do with terrorism whatsoever.
it is more really...that the games , to my view, have become diminished as classically competitive or demonstrative of excellence between countries and individuals, and have more become about personal ego. replacing the ancient spirit of testing the limits of human endurance and disciplines, many events are now abundantly comprised of perfectly ridiculous events that serve no greater purpose than to demonstrate how willing an individual is to be a dare-devil than truly an athletic competitor. many of the "athletes" who have won medals in these events appear to be purely in it for themselves, not their country. they seem like adolescents at often dangerous play, even though many of them are in late 20's and 30's. when they win ,they resemble spoiled children who just pushed someone out onto the floor and been declared the winner in a perverse game of musical chairs, more than a competitor who has persevered and triumphed within a respectable discipline. moreover,. hundreds of thousands of dollars...giving way to hundreds of million dollars spent, (or squandered by my view) are spent by the host country, the teams of each country, and by individuals themselves. and to what end? and to what example to future generations?
the money spent on opening and closing ceremonies alone, could probably end world hunger for at least a few months time if not longer as the the propaganda of the country take the world stage. the construction of the competitive fields, equipment, clothing, transportation cost, "training" etc could also so be utilized in a more useful and altruistic as well as practical manner to benefit the citizens of this planet.. events such as free style skiing, snow boarding events that are essentially something that looks like a skate board park made of ice, and the infamous skeleton, are unnecessarily dangerous, and do not demonstrate much more than to what level of recklessness some individuals are prone and willing to devote their lives and significant resources . i do not blame these individuals for their attitude and sense of entitlement to such indulgence. they are only responding to what the crowd will "pay"....if someone would pay me to cultivate my penchants and avoid the mantel of common day responsibilities and travails...i likely would do it too.and i do not doubt that many of them do feel a pride and loyalty to our country, or whatever country from which they hail...but they are not expressing it with any moving or uplifting form of social conscience,or awareness, nor care for any larger humanitarian view other than personal pride.
true, there are all sort of activities and frivolities that take place every hour of ever day. we purchase things, surround ourselves with comforts
that could, and often should, go to toward a greater good. however these things to not take place on the world stage, for so many days in succession, and at such an "international" level, at at such acclaim.
i could go on...and on about this..and i shall not. i think i have adequately expunged my primary contention with the modern day olympic games. and i know my words espoused here will not create any change or promote any particular enlightenment...and i long ago accepted my impotence in bringing any meaningful change to the planet at large. it has been sad for me on a personal level , though, to feel about the olympic games this year very much as the way i view the wars in which we find our country engaged....supportive of the troops, but not supportive of the reason nor the manner....in which they "fight"~
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